For me, there is something very powerful about the written word and reading suits my learning style. As a result, each one of the books listed below provided me with a 'step change' in my thinking and feelings; the 'mental shift' that each book provided me became the impetus to move toward improved behaviors through 'welcomed change'. I would consider it a great honor and deeply humbling to talk to each of the people that wrote these life changing books (if only it were possible). These books are *that* important to me. Perhaps they might do the same for you.
I've listed these books (looking back on it) in the order that I think I would have liked to have read if I was starting to get sober all over again.
Books - Top 10
1. Atomic Habits - James Clear (*everything* you need to know plus more about habits. Dropping ones you don't want and replacing them ones you do want).
2. The Power of Now - Ekhart Tolle (*the first five chapters were great for me. Chapters 6-10 were far too mystical for me). Understand and learn how to get into the 'present' - because that is where all the action in life actually happens!).
3. Designing the Mind - Ryan Bush (This book provided me with an 'operators manual for my mind'. It allowed me to reframe and reorder my thinking and emotions in a structured and directed way. It also reinforces the stoic principle of self regulation through experiencing feelings, followed closely by a time period of thoughtfullness, and then acting on the conclusions of those integrated thoughts and feelings).
4. No Bad Parts - Richard Schwarz (Get comfortable with your competing mental 'parts'. Realizing that we are the sum of multiple 'parts' which jives with Daniell Dennetts 'multiple drafts' theory above).
5. Meditations - Marcus Aurelius. From the very first moment that I opened up to its pages, this book is my own 'daily meditations'. This book is full of both wisdom and comfort. It consistently and repeatedly speaks to my daily struggles and joys! If you want to know what my guiding philosophy of life is now; it is stoicism. And Marcus Aurelius is one of the great mentors of that way of life. I cannot recommend this book enough. Please get this book; it has immense value.
6. Mans Search for Meaning - Viktor Frankl (Despite what I think, my life has been wonderfully easy. And without knowing anything about you, your life has been too. Read this book and find out how much!).
7. Consciousness Explained - Daniel Dennett (Contains numerous incredible and brilliant insights into the mind inside our brains. What is and what is not, consciousness. The "multiple drafts" theory. And, you will learn many concepts of mentality including that we don't 'know' what 'knowing' is.
8. Toward a Psychology of Being - Abraham Maslow (Maslow's hierarchy of needs and all the rest of the profoundness of all that. Crucial to reframing and reprioritizing the needs, habits, and schedules, of life in its entire messiness).
9. Thinking, Fast and Slow - Daniel Kahneman (Gain understanding about how we think in different ways from the immediate (fast - system 1) to the fully contemplative (slow - system 2).
10. The Road Less Travelled - Scott M Peck (navigate your life into a 'wholesome and directed completeness' without necessarily needing all the religiousity that masquerades as spirituality).
The books below were also extremely important for me in embarking on the journey of recovering from my traumatic past. When I take a journey to a new destination, I also *must* leave something behind; you cannot take it all with you. And grieving that loss is required. If the traumatic past is a location, I really want to 'leave all that behind' and mourning the loss of the life once lived is healthy integration.
Healing from Past Traumas
1. Combatting Cult Mind Control - Steven Hassan (Learn how people are conned, duped, and controlled by groups (in this case, a toxic religion) - and by implication, you are duped by your own 'parts'!).
2. Toxic Parents - Susan Forward (Parents do the 'best they can' but many times, that just isn't good enough. And processing all of that is crucial for future well being).
3. The Body Keeps the Score - Bessel van der Kolk (What trauma does to you and how you carry it around with you. How to recognize it, process it, and reframe it).
Books - Puzzle Pieces
The books below get onto the list because they were an extraordinarily important piece of a complicated jigsaw puzzle within my life.
Crucial Puzzle Piece Books
1. Love and Limerance - Dorothy Tenov (How humans experience romantic love on a spectrum between practicality and fantasy).
2. Surrounded by Idiots - Thomas Erikson (The more you understand others and their 'types', the more you can also understand your 'self' and your 'type').
Books - Inspiring Stories of People Surviving Against Incredible Odds
1. 81 Days Below Zero: The Incredible Survival Story of a World War II Pilot in Alaska’s Frozen Wilderness - Brian Murphy and Toula Vlahou (parachute into Alaska, survive and walk 150 miles to nearest settlement).
2. Endurance: Shackleton's Incredible Voyage - Alfred Lansing and Nathaniel Philbrick (one of, if not the most, incredible story of human survival in Antarctica and the Sourthern Ocean).
Books - That I Want to Read but Haven't Yet
I have a long list of reading to do. As I read each, I will be rearranging the above groups if my opinion changes.
1. The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows - John Koenig - existing words I didn't know exist that describe emotions AND new words John created for specific emotions that don't currently have words to describe them). Words are very important to me (like senhsucht, anemoia, and saudade). So I am really looking forward to this book).
2. The Courage to be Disliked - Ichiro Kishimi, Fumitake Koga
3. ... TBD, lots of books to add here!